


Wearied By Time

by rory_amy_pond



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark fic, Depressed Gabriel (Supernatural), Gen, Guilty Lucifer, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lucifer is humbled, Sad Lucifer, Sad Michael, Self Harm, Self-Esteem Issues, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Winged Lucifer, gabriel is sad, guilty michael, guilty raphael, sad raphael, tired gabriel, wing fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-21 15:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13744332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rory_amy_pond/pseuds/rory_amy_pond
Summary: Gabriel is Tired and has been for a while. Lucifer is shocked by the secret gabriel will involuntarily unveil to the point he will face a fear he has put off facing for a long time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK so this is my first fic EVER so please be kind.  
> Ive had lots of ideas in my head for a while so i decided why the heck not! i am now a writer i guess. TA DA well...... an aspiring writer who has no clue what shes doing so same difference right lol.  
> the only experience ive had with this kind of stuff is from fics so if i get anything wrong please tell me so i can correct this in any way   
> I would love to thank my wonderful beta and friend who shall be known as mina so thx   
> OK song of mention Bird with a broken wing by owl city check it out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is tired. When Lucifer summons him it is a shock what happens nest. The secrets revealed will change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK I edited this again  
> Please be kind this is my first fic EVER so I would appreciate criticism but please be kind.  
> Thanks to my wonderful beta and friend who shall be known as Mina.

Gabriel is very tired. Well, Gabriel is a lot of things but he's mostly tired. He is sad, he's angry, he's in pain, but more prominently he's tired. 

Gabriel didn't used to be so full of life and energy, but not anymore. You know what the worst thing is? Nobody knows how bone deep and soul weary tired he is. But that's also the best thing, nobody knows. Nobody knows who he is. Nobody knows all the pain he's went through. And nobody can pity him. He's been on his own so long and hidden his pain so deep nobody knows, or if they do they don't care. That lethargy laying over him is going to end him soon he thinks.

That tiredness comes from a lot of things. It comes from living through a millennia of fighting. It comes from creating a new life for himself. It comes from wearing a mask so impenetrable that nothing can see through it. It comes from evading questions and learning to hide. It comes from everything that shouldn't have happened. It comes from pain. The pain of watching a family be torn apart, and losing a brother. The pain of not being to help, but trying so hard. The pain of failing time and time again. The pain of silence, of suffering, and finally of loss. 

The pain doesn't bother him much anymore. He's made it go away. Well at least for a little while. He has made most everything go away for a little while. He has even finally made the anger that had been inside him for so long go away too.

Now though the pain is back and no matter how much he tries the pain won't stop. It keeps coming at him in waves making his breath hitch and hands shake. A blade clatters to the ground as gray edges his vision and a wave of dizziness hits him. "Idiot!" He thinks as he quickly unbinds his grace to stem the quick flow of blood that comes from his arms and wings. He promised himself he would never go this far! He would try to help even if he fails every time. And he's tried so many times. He has.

With a sigh he reaches over and picks up his blade. With a flick of his grace he cleans his blade and the surrounding area; he gathers his bleeding wings into the ether where he stores them. Shaking his head at his foolishness he stands up. Pain ripples from the wounds on his arms and through his wings that he didn't heal all the way. He always makes sure that it's never all the way healed. He need's the reminder. The reminder to try again, the reminder of how far he has fallen and how much he has failed.

Thin pale lines crossed with fresh pink lay bare on his arms, now slightly covered in the newest wounds. Pulling the sleeve down he marches over to the kitchen area to get some food. He may not need food as a pagan trickster but he eats it nonetheless. Food in his opinion is the best things that humans have made! As he flips a pancake expertly several minutes later the click of paws is heard from in the hall. A small smile crosses his face as a fluffy ball of white and brown races past him narrowly avoiding his legs. It skids to a stop in front of the counter and turns to jump on his legs. Gabriel leans down and ruffles the fur between his ears. "Want some food Bear?", with that he walks over to a the bowl and pours some food in.

A small tug comes from the center of his chest which he contemplates. He dismisses it as nothing but his residual pain from his wings which were still throbbing. He seats himself with the pancakes and pours a generous amount of syrup over the top. Ideas run through his head for deadly pranks. He sighs realizing that he still can't do anything, once again, because everyone thinks he’s dead. He’s not to eager to alert them to his being alive just yet. As he takes a bite a sharper tug makes him drop his fork to the plate with a clatter. He curses and swiftly rises. Someone was summoning him! Not Loki, him Gabriel! Another tug even harder this time causes him to stumble over to the side. And with that he's pulled from his kitchen and tugged through space.

With a groan he stands up where he collapsed on the ground of on old ware house, as he stands up wiping his stinging palms on his jeans and flexing his wings while still keeping them hidden. "How did you know?" There was only a couple of people who had that specific summoning because it required things that only certain people have access to, namely his brothers. "A flare of grace popped up. I figured that the only person with that strong of grace was you since Michael and Raphael are in heaven." Gabriel curses colorfully and looks up into cold pale blue eyes that reflect the fire that surrounds him. "I was hoping to stay out of this since I already died because of it, by your hand mind you. Why am I here Luci? What do you want?", the weariness leaking into his voice.

Lucifer looks surprised by that response. "What no jokes?", he said sarcastically. "No.", the response came, still full of that lethargy that had taken residence lately. With a sharp look he says, “Brother I have come to give you another chance. I wish you would’ve joined me the first time but I am still willing"

Gabriel scoffs at that "Was killing me once not enough? I refused Lucifer, I told you no. It’s not like you to give second chances. Why?" Lucifer looks at him with a mix of mild anger, frustration and surprisingly... sadness. "Gabriel, please brother come with me. Help me fight Michael. We can live here without anyone, without the humans, without anyone." His tone turning to desperation near the end.

With less tiredness and more frustration and desperation now lacing his tone Gabriel pleads. "Lucifer is fighting all you think about? It is the only thing that has been on your mind for a long time. I told you no! The humans... they are the side I am on now so No! They are one of the few things I have left in this world that don’t want to kill me and I don't want to lose them. Lucifer I lost my home , my siblings wouldn't speak to me out of fear, and when they did it was only out of a twisted kind of respect. Raphael was gone into the depths of his own mind, cold and heartless and generally unpleasant. Michael became the righteous general, ordering without love and you. You left us all because you couldn't have your way. You couldn't stand being pushed aside for one whole second when that was what had been happening to me most of existence." Now Gabriel was on the verge of tears, sadness and anger leaking into his tone tiredly. Lucifer opened his mouth but Gabriel cut him off again. "Lucifer you are my brother and I will always love you but no. So kill me again if you wish. This time I won't even try to stop you. I am done with trying; I have tried so hard, so many different times. In heaven I tried to get you and Michael to stop. You two didn't even notice." He scoffs, tears now streaming silently down his face. " I tried here on earth and I couldn't even stop two measly humans. I tried to stop you at the motel as well, at least you noticed that time. I am done, I am tired and worn out. My answer is no and always will be. I will never help you kill our brother, so if you are going to kill me at least make it quick."

Gabriel's chest ached, pain was gathering in his heart as he waits to hear his brother's reaction. The thought of Lucifer killing him caused another spear of pain to ripple through his grace. ‘But maybe.’, He thought ‘Maybe, I will finally get relief.’ Silence rang through the dank warehouse. After a minute He looks up to see Lucifer looking at him with a mixture of sorrow, pain, and.....regret? No it couldn’t be. "Gabriel...", he speaks softly as if saying it any louder would scare him away even though there was nowhere he could go. "I... oh father what have I done?"

Gabriel looks up eyes swimming grace still thrumming with pain. "What?", confusion ringing with that one word. Lucifer looks up "I knew you were alive you know. I would never actually kill you. I knew they were both constructs as I stood there." Those words caused a sharp laugh to make its way out of Gabriel's mouth, "So you mean to tell me that you actually care?" Disbelief coursing through every syllable, Lucifer opened his mouth again. Closed it, and then said, "Of course I care Gabe. If I had known I would never of-", he's cut off as Gabriel stops him by holding his hand up, tears still in his eyes, "If you had known! Lucifer you would have known if you had bothered to pay any attention at all! You never realized. You never realize." Lucifer raises his hands and the fire disappears. He steps forward, Gabriel tenses. "I Brother... please I am sorry. I didn't think.... I don't know what I thought. How I couldn't have seen it. Brother I can feel your pain from here please I will stop fighting if it means that much to you." 

Gabriel just stares his mouth agape. He’s so confused by his words. "Lucifer." He can't catch his breath, arms surround him. He panics and flails for a second at the touch. His legs buckle beneath him as the wall he worked so hard to build came down. The pain and loneliness that he had kept at bay for so long came crashing down. Physical pain is muted and numb now that the other is stronger. He's surrounded by arms that he thought would never surround him again. "Please... don't leave again." He says between breaths. “I won't.", he promises him. Soon after Gabriel lays limp in his arms. Lucifer rises cradling his sleeping brother in his arms. The flap of wings and faint smell of sulfur is left behind. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He spreads his wings and swiftly brings him to his own house. Dismissing the demons in the house with authority he marches quietly through the halls to a bedroom. Angels don't need to sleep but somehow his little brother is. He must have been truly exhausted to be able to sleep this deep. He lay's him down and reaches over bringing the blanket to lay over him. He stops though and glances over his brother’s sleeping form looking over him for injuries. He felt the pain in the warehouse, it was emotional pain yes but he felt his brothers flinch when he had grabbed his arms to stop Gabriel from hurting him or himself. He notices a mark on his wrist. A feeling is growing in his chest, Horror. He undoes the button keeping the sleeve in place and draws the sleeve. Thin marks cover his arm, old and new. With a gasp he sits on the bed, his mind is running quicker than he can keep up with. A breath is drawn in and released slowly through a sheen of silent tears that weren't as thick a moment ago. 'Oh Father, what have I done to him. Please help me help him. How could I not have noticed this?'

He draws the sleeve down once again and finishes pulling the blanket over his body. He would talk with him when he woke up. Setting a discreet alarm to tell him when his brother wakes up he sets out to do what he asked of him.

First he summons one of his head commanders and orders him to gather all the demons on the surface back to where they came from. That wasn't exactly what Gabe had asked but Lucifer was sure he would appreciate it. He would go down there and figure something out to tell them later, or maybe just kill them somehow.

He makes his way to the living room and seats himself trying to sort his mind. A million ideas on how to stop all this run through his mind. With a groan he buries his head in his hands. Feelings overwhelm his mind. Regret and pain, sadness, more regret. One idea stands out. It's probably one of the worst. But it makes the most sense. Apprehension fills him at the thought. 

Contrary to popular beliefs Lucifer didn't enjoy causing pain. He has done it only when necessary. Falling gave him perspective. Time in the cage let him sort his thoughts, and the isolation gave him well...... it gave him pain. As much as he would've loved to make others go through what he had he refrained in hopes that his father would come back. In the millennia that he lived in the cage he had begged his father, his brothers, even his despicable aunt that had got him in there in the first place to come back. He yelled and screamed for mercy and forgiveness and tried to tell them he was sorry. He had said that he would recant his beliefs. He would've bowed down to the humans. He would've done anything at that point to get his family back. Obviously none of them thought him worthy of their time or forgiveness. After a couple hundred years he had stopped and had just sat there alone with his thought.

Would his brother even take him back? If he gives himself over would he get him to stop? He wouldn't leave Gabriel but if he submits and takes punishment would Michael stop? He wouldn't even fight. He would hope that his older brother's love for his younger would be enough cause to have him stay his hand... for the most part. He isn't that naive as to hope for forgiveness for all he's done but he hopes that however much he's disappointed his brother it isn't enough to overshadow his love for Gabriel. 

He rises dread pooling in the pit of his stomach. Making his way slowly to a spare bedroom his shoulders droop in resignation. A silent prayer is sent to a silent father for strength that he knows will never receive. Lucifer erases the sigils that hid that room opening it up for all supernatural beings to sense. He waits for a moment before bowing his head slightly. "Michael...... I know we aren't on the best terms but...", he sighs, "I need to talk, it's about Gabriel." He waits for a minute before sighing in a mixture of relief and sorrow. Relief because he doesn't have to face his older brother, and sorrow because he doesn't have the chance to try to get Michael to see what has happened to Gabriel, to help stop it.

He turns to go but before his hand even reaches the handle a flutter of wings is heard behind him. He tenses for a moment before turning slowly, coming to face with a man that he's never seen before but recognizes anyway. The vessel his brother inhabits is moderately tall, tan skinned, black hair and light green eyes. "Lucifer.", Michael says coldly. "Michael.", Lucifer answers slowly waiting for a different reaction, wariness leaking into his voice. "I didn't think you would come.", is said when Michael just stares at him features blank but righteous anger in his eyes.

Michael stares for a minute more then says, venom lacing every word, "Lucifer what do you want? You said it was about Gabriel. If you lied just to get me down here to kill me early I will decimate you, I have a whole garrison on standby." 

"Michael, brother, please I didn't call you here to fight.", he looks up. "I..... Michael, I know you can never forgive me for what I did. Honestly I don't think I can ever forgive myself. I just.... it is Gabriel brother. We need to stop this. I don't care what father has laid down for us. Whatever plan he set out. Gabriel is hurting and I'm afraid for him." Michael gave him a look that spoke volumes about how much he trusted Lucifer, "Lucifer I swear if you hurt our brother I will kill you in the most painful way possible."

"Me! Hurt Gabriel? Michael I would never hurt our brother, but I am afraid that he already is. But we both had a hand in this." Michael looked shocked at the accusation. "Lucifer! How could you-", he's cut off by Lucifer, "Michael stop and listen to me. He's hurting himself."

Michael stands there mouth gaping. "What?", Lucifer barely hears it he is speaking so low. "I- Michael we have to stop this, Gabriel is hurting himself thinking that we don't care." "But how could he think that?!", Michael gasps, taking a step back from Lucifer. “We uh... He thinks that we don't care about him because we never gave him any reason to believe otherwise. Michael please I will give anything to get you to stop this. I promised him I would stop fighting so you can do whatever you want to me if it means that you will not go through with anything else. Bind me to you," he gives an involuntary shudder at the next words he says. "Strip me of my grace, anything so long as you let me stay with him and we stop this fight. I don't think that he will last much longer if we continue, and I promised him I wouldn't leave and I will not break another promise to him." With that Lucifer kneels before his elder brother. He looks up into the shocked face and says "Michael, I know that nothing I will ever do or say will ever make up for the pain I have wrought upon our family. You have made that clear enough by ignoring my every prayer I sent you. I have made myself unredeemable. So I give myself to you in hopes you will please spare me to allow me to help our brother. If not I will unlock the wards so you can try to help him and request that if you are going to kill me at least make it swift."

Lucifer bows his head not wanting to see Michael's reaction any longer. Not wanting to see the decree he knows is going to come. The click of boots is heard and he tenses. The next thing that happens is a shock. Michael kneels on the ground in front of Lucifer and wraps his arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA-DA Kudos and comments are amazing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok second installment here it is Tell me if i get any thing wrong but please be kind once again  
> Credit to my beta Mina again  
> song of note Give it all by train  
> EDITED again lol i read it again after posting it and wanted to change a few things

Lucifer tenses as warm arms surround him. 'What is this?’ he thinks in alarm. 'It's a hug', his mind supplies from his vessel, Nick's, memories. But why was Michael giving one to him? Hugging, he gathered from his short time on earth, was a sign of affection among humans. Was he wrong? Surely Michael couldn't stand him, and even if he still held some type of love for him, why? "Oh, Luka,” Michael whispered. 

 

Those two words caused Lucifer to start panicking even more than he was before. 'Luka', Michael hadn't called him that in a very long time not since even before the fall. The name caused memories of happier times, which he had tried hard to forget, come rushing in. They were painful because it reminded him of things he thought that he would never get back. Lucifer was so tense and stiff that his vessel's muscles were starting to hurt from the strain. What had he done to deserve this now? If everyone had ignored him while he begged in the cage, what made this apology special?

 

"Michael?!,” Lucifer squeaked in question. "Luka, how could you ever think that I could hate you? Even when we fought I always loved you! Lucifer I..... Don’t actually know what you are talking about when you say you sent me prayers, but if you had apologized before I never knew I am so sorry. I have always loved you and have dreaded having to kill you. I only was doing it because I thought I had to. I will gladly stop the fight.... although some of our brothers and sisters may object,” he paused noticing the panicked look on Lucifer's face. "Luka! Luka, look at me you have to breathe." It was something he had heard humans say to another when situations such as this arose.

 

His breaths were getting shorter and fewer. He couldn't breathe, he was trying to absorb the information but it didn't seem to be working at the moment. For a being that didn't need to breath it sure seemed to be affecting him now making him light headed and dizzy. He tried to discipline his breathing, managing to take slower deeper breathes before talking again. 

 

"Michael, I begged for centuries and you never heard?” He had to know. Michael nodded with a look of complete and utter sorrow in his eyes, confirming what Lucifer only had a gleaming suspicion of all these years. Lucifer looked up into his older brother's eyes. "Thank you. So... does this mean that the apocalypse is off?” he asked hope finally blooming in his eyes. They stood up and Michael wrapped his arms around Lucifer. "Yes, I will stop this I promise. In the meantime we should talk about Gabriel. As much as I love standing with you once again little brother, I think he needs our attention."

 

Lucifer tilted his head in agreement, "Yes, we need to talk about him let's go somewhere more comfortable." They started walking towards the door until Michael paused; Lucifer turned tilting his head in question. "I need to inform the garrison I have stationed nearby to retreat or they will most likely attack if I disappear off their radar.” Michael stated. Lucifer nodded and answered with a cheeky grin, "Of course, we wouldn't want that now would we." Michael rolled his eyes in a very human move and then disappeared with a flutter of wings.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lucifer shrugged once then went inside his house to change the sigils to allow Michael access. He still left the one room with no sigils in case Michael wanted to do anything else with it. After messing with it for a moment he made his way back to the room Gabriel slept in. Opening the door he slipped inside to wait for either Michael to come back or Gabriel to wake up.

 

Snapping a chair as he went to sit down near the bed, he made another chair for Michael just in case. 'What just happened?' he thinks contemplating the events that had just occurred. Michael forgave him! He was still trying to wrap his head around that one. For so long he had believed that he was out of reach for forgiveness that this seemed too good to be true. A thought entered his mind. Even if Michael couldn't hear him, what about his father? His father was, of course, the most powerful being in the universe along with death and his cursed aunt. Could he have heard him? 'No.', if he had heard him and Michael was willing to forgive he would have taken him from that godforsaken cage. 'But what if he had' his mind whispered to him in the near silence of the bedroom.

 

He was interrupted from his musings by the sound of footsteps outside the door. It swung open revealing his brother. He breathed a sigh of relief he didn't even know was in him. What had he been waiting for? Maybe for Michael to burst in sword drawn? No, he was waiting to see if he would even show or disappear into the sunset. Lucifer gestured to the chair next to him with a wave of his hand. Michael stepped forward and seats himself with grace that no being other than one who was supernatural could have.

 

Silence reigns for a few moments before Michael turns toward him. "What are we going to do about this?" Lucifer considers this for a moment before answering, "First we must find out how much damage there is." Michael nods. "Have you seen his wings or his vessel?”, he inquires. "Just his vessel, although I suspect that there is damage to his wings. He had a rough landing when I summoned him." 

 

"You summoned him?”, he asked with a bit of a frown. "Yes, there was no other way I could have contacted him, remember I did pretend to kill him so he wasn't very trusting. Still might not be, after all this has been going on for centuries. It might be kind of hard to wrap his head around; I know that it is for me."

 

"What do you think we could do?”, Michael asked with an even bigger frown after that last confession. "Well, we might want to start actually being there for him for a start." Michael nodded in assent. "What should we say when he wakes up?", Lucifer questions. "I don't know." 

 

"Well then, that's helpful. We have a lot to make up for.", Lucifer snorted. They sat there for a couple minutes staring at the baby brother they had both lost. "He scarred his vessel." Lucifer stated so quietly that Michael could barely hear. He turned his head to look at him, "I want to heal him but I’m afraid if we attempt he might wake." Michael's face was passive but you could see the ever growing fear and regret and horror lingering in his eyes. "Do you think we could get away with a grace sweep if we keep our levels down?"

 

Invented by Raphael grace sweeps were used to check young fledglings for injures when they were asleep. But Gabriel being an archangel can sense grace better than them it probably won’t work. Michael looked at Gabriel with a penetrative eye for a second then turned to Lucifer and only gave him a slight shake of his head. "I don't think that once he wakes he will want us to heal him. He will think that he doesn't deserve or some else that won't make any sense."

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

He looked at him with the same penetrative stare that he had given Gabriel. Lucifer stared right back until he started shift under his heavy gaze. Finally after what seemed like days but was in fact only seconds. "What?!”, Lucifer snapped in irritation. "I cannot imagine that Hell was kind on you either Lucifer," Lucifer looked away at those words. "I'm fine Michael," he said slowly.

 

"From your reaction, Lucifer, I guess not. Would you allow me to check you over? I would like to see your wings as well as your true form," Michael asked with a little bit of authority. "No, No. I can assure you I'm fine," Lucifer assured quickly. But with how fast Lucifer had answered only gave him more reason to want to check him over.

 

"Little brother please, would you allow me," A look of Irritation grew on Lucifer's face at being asked again. He stood up to leave. In a flash Michael was standing in front of the door blocking his way even though he knew Lucifer had wings as well and could get away just as easily. Lucifer looked up, instead of hate Michael was surprised fear in his eyes. "You'll hate me again if I let you see Michael please don't make me. I wouldn't be able to stand that again after seeing you forgive me." 

 

He shook his head, "Lucifer, I told you that I never hated you. What makes you think that I would start now? What could be so horrible about what happened to you in hell that I would hate you?" Lucifer flinched at the words he said. Somehow Michael already knew the answer to that question. "My wings Michael, My wings."

 

To angels wings were a sign of rank and respect. If you had well-groomed wings it was a sign of high status and they showed whether you had a mate. Also the higher the rank the more wings you had. The lowest two ranks: Seraphim and Cherubim each had only one pair. The next, the Powers had 2 sets. Then finally Archangels, they had 3 sets each. Most wings were a whitish or light gray, but the archangels they were the some of only angels that had other colors. 

 

Michael had white wings bigger than most but when he moved them they seemed to shimmer and it looked like you could see through them. Lucifer had curved wings of silver, when they hit the light it seemed to glint off of it; it was hard to look at them sometimes. Raphael's wings were slightly wider and the only ones that were darker colored. They were a dark brown with glints of a leafy green streaking through them. Gabriel's were slimmer and you could tell they were made for flying, and were pure gold that seemed to absorb light as opposed to Lucifer's that reflected it.

 

"Michael my wings were ruined, I really don't want to show you. But if you really want to see them I won't blame you if you decide not to after even seeing them. We better go to a different room as well," Lucifer started walking past Michael at a swift pace. Michael followed him out of the room before finally saying something, "Lucifer I would not ask to see them if I was not prepared to treat them. You were in hell brother; again I cannot imagine it was kind." Lucifer's only response was to huff.

 

They came to the living room. Lucifer moved to seat himself sideways on the couch leaning forward, "Just give me a second." He nods and seats himself behind Lucifer. "O-ok," Lucifer straightens only slightly and heaves a deep breath in. There's a slight shift in the light, there's a moment where nothing happens. Time seems to stand still, then there are three sets of dark gray wings. Ash falls lightly around them as he shifts them. Lucifer buries his head in his hands out of shame. Michael stares for a moment taking in what used to be his brothers shining wings. He doesn't look out of disgust or pity; he looks out of awe at the scars that his brother carries. The strength he had to have had to go through all that pain.

 

There are holes scarred over near the top of the wing joints on each set. Small patches of feathers are balding on some spots, and there is one big scar running down the base of his back that is healed over. It looks like someone had tried to cut his wing off. Lucifer is shifting under there heavy weight again, part of the top wing stretches into the light filtering in through the window. Instead of reflecting the light it now seems to absorb it.

 

Michael breathes out. "Oh, Luka," he says in a sad tone. "I am so sorry for leaving you down there, for leaving you to such pain. I can’t even imagine how much it hurt," Lucifer cranes his head back to look at Michael. "So you’re not ashamed of me, of what I have become?” Michael shakes his head.

 

"There is no reason to be ashamed Luka. These scars upon your back, they have made you who you are today, and while yes if I had the chance I would stop this ever happening to you, your wings are still beautiful no matter how injured they are." Lucifer seems to heave out a breathe in relief. As if there was any other reaction that could've come from his brother.

 

They are both still for a moment before Michael reaches forward to touch them. He pauses and looks up at Lucifer who still has his head turned, "Can I groom them?" Lucifer again looks shocked by the request before nodding.

 

Michael leans over and starts to run his fingers through his wings, straightening feathers, taking ones that are loose out. This caused him, the couch, and floor to be covered in a layer of ash. Not that he cared. Lucifer could always snap a new couch into existence.

 

He works his fingers through the feathers getting lost in the familiar motions. Grooming was a very personal activity usually only shared between very close siblings or mates. They could groom their own wings but it was very difficult and usually leads to only a half way job being done. He paused for a moment trying to remember the last time he had groomed another siblings wings' or had another groom him. It had to have been before the fall for either. 'I have been neglecting my siblings of late, I shall have to remedy that' Michael thought with a little bit of shame. Maybe he could get Lucifer to groom his wings after he was done. Grooming when done by another person was extremely relaxing.

 

A soft noise was coming from Lucifer; Michael chuckled when he realized that Lucifer was purring. He probably didn't realize that he was doing it. He shifted his wings into a better position so that Michael could get them better. It still worked like a charm. He used to groom Lucifer to get him to sleep when he still needed it in the early years. It would work almost instantly every time. Michael laughed louder. He remembered late nights sitting doing this to every one of his brothers.

Raphael thought it was a pain taking time away from more important activities, his wings getting to the point where Lucifer and Gabriel would have to drag him away from his work to get it done. Gabriel was always flying around making his wings messy, most of the time he wouldn’t even notice until one of his siblings pointed it up. He always appreciated it though. He had always loved it though, while he never got his as messy he sometimes had to be dragged away though.

 

A door opened behind him. Turning he looked into the shocked face of Gabriel staring at them.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Once Michael had started grooming he knew that he would never be able to hurt his brother again. He had turned to jelly, waves of relaxation rippling through his body. He dropped his head onto his arms and turned to lean on the edge of the couch. He hadn't had his wings groomed since well before the fall because Michael had refused to while they were fighting. He was sure that his wings were absolutely hideous but at this point he really didn't care.

 

He could barely lift his head. Michael scratched lightly at the base of his wings. This shot another wave of relaxation down his spine. He opened his eyes not even realizing that he had shut them in the first place. Lucifer shifted enough to spread his other wings into a position so that Michael could get to them better. He heard a rumble behind him. Michael was laughing! At him no doubt, he still didn't care. He heard a door open in the background but before he could turn to look and see he had fallen asleep rumbling like a cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TA DA i told you id be back Kudos and comments are the best thing ever personally. Don't worry i think that this will be one of the few chapters without Gabriel ACtually in it. I just really wanted to write the two of them together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel wakes to find Michael grooming Lucifer's wings. They talk through some things and Raphael is mentioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* It's crappy im NOT satisfied but iv'e waited way to long so here take this poop. Lol  
> Credit to ma Beta Mina again. She says it's fine but somehow i don't believe her.  
> I might just write a fic for the new spn epi AHHHHHHHH I DIED. sweet sweet sabriel at last. MY Poor BAbY They hurt him even more than i did! I won't spoil anything don't worry. BUT I AM SOOO EXCITED.  
> again sorry for the crap i wrote. This has been hard between school and life.

Gabriel wakes slowly, everything is muffled. He's lying on something soft and warm; he has no recollection of how he got there. Panic crawls up his throat, he sits up eyes blinking in the dim light trying to remember how he got there. Memories flash in his head and he looks around cautiously an embarrassed flush making its way up his neck. There's nobody in the room. Two chairs sit next to the bed; he looks at them trying to figure out who the second chair could be for.

 

Gabriel swings his legs over the edge of the bed groaning at the stiffness in his wings, there was only a slight ache now. His sleeves were still buttoned up and his wings weren't messed with so he supposed that was a good sign. Looking down at his wrists he pulls the sleeve down to make sure nothing was showing. He rubs them absent mindedly and instantly regrets it as a hot flare of pain makes its way through his vessels arm. He spreads his grace out slowly so as not to alert anyone he was awake. It floats out poking corners and spreading through cracks in the wall picking up information. There was a stench, sulfur. As he scans outside his room he picks up on two beings outside his door. They were radiating powerful grace all around them.

 

He recognizes the grace but who- 'Crap!' He stands up and runs to the door. Opening it he realizes his mistake only after the door creaks open. His brothers were sitting on the couch! Michael and Lucifer were sitting on the couch, with their wings out! His older brother turns his head and looks worriedly at him. Gabriel stares at the scene before him. 'What the heck was going on?' They were sitting there Lucifer asleep, wings out, Michael grooming them. 

 

He stares. How- What- Who? He was shocked to say the least. 'Well,' his mind supplies, 'at least they aren't killing each other'. He steps forward, "What?" He says confused beyond belief. Michael stares at him for another second then says, "Come sit down brother." It wasn't a question, it was an order. A millennia old instinct had Gabriel walking over to the other chair, his eyes never leaving the situation in front of him. 

 

Michael continues his task his hands covered in soot and the smell of sulfur waving through the air. Gabriel finally notices Lucifer's wings. They were scarred and sooty. Gabriel makes a sad noise leaning forward to inspect his wings. "Oh, Luci." He whispers, grief pouring into his voice. Why hadn't he tried harder? Why hadn't he stopped this? This was his entire fault. He could've stopped them, he had tried but he still could've tried harder. 

 

Apparently he had zoned out cause Michael was looking at him, the tilt in his tone suggesting he had been said his name more than once. "Sorry, what were you saying?" Michael gave him a funny look. “I asked how you were doing brother. Lucifer called me down to reconcile and stated that you were sleeping? I haven’t seen you in a long time, and I have been worried you know.” his eyes held a hidden question. “I looked for you Gabriel; I searched for a long time.”

 

Gabriel shifted nervously in his seat trying to find the right words. “Michael,” he began “I just couldn’t take it.” Gabriel said quickly getting straight to the point, no jokes. He hung his head in shame; he had run like a little child. Why had he run? He could’ve taken care of the fledglings, he could have stopped something. But he was too much of a coward to stand up to his older brother? The fledglings he left had become soldiers based on how little Cassie had acted when he met him in the TV land with the Winchesters.

 

He drifted back to reality to meet Michael looking at him with concern again. Darn it! Why couldn’t he just act normal? Why couldn’t he just speak? It was obvious he had zoned out again. “Gabriel are you sure you are alright?” Gabriel nodded, maybe a bit quicker than was normal. “I may have been hiding as the pagan trickster Loki.” He said once again. Better to just rip off the band aid, right?

 

Michael gave him a look and nodded slowly. He was still grooming Lucifer’s feathers even if he Lucifer was asleep. Soft snoring was coming from him. Gabriel looked at Michael expectantly waiting for the words of scorn and disappointment to come, they never did. Gabriel looked up cautiously Michael was only giving him a look of sympathy and… regret? What was it with his brothers and regret these past couple hectic hours?

 

He had stopped grooming Lucifer and turned to face him. Lucifer gave a soft snort in his sleep and shifted into a more comfortable position, his wings moved close to his back. His own wings were still hidden away as well as Michaels but he still looked nervous. What was he nervous for? Michael was never nervous. Gabriel looked at him waiting for him to say anything. 

 

“Gabriel, I do not judge you for leaving, or anything you did while here on earth.” Gabriel gaped, whatever the heck he had expected Michael to say this wasn’t even in the same realm of possibilities. He had no clue what to say to that. Who was this and what had he done with his brother? Michael would never say anything like that.

 

If Lucifer apologizing had been a shock, it was nothing compared to the thoughts running through his head after hearing those words. “What?” he croaked his voice barely above a whisper.

 

“Gabriel, I do not fault you for leaving. It was hectic and I was not the brother I once was. It was chaos and honestly I would have run away as well if I were you. Raphael had disconnected even from even me and I cannot imagine how you felt, you two were once so close.” Michael sighed putting his head in his hands. 

 

Gabriel was silent, he couldn’t process it. What was Michael saying? Did he forgive him? Pangs of something struck through his grace and vessels heart. He stood up and walked forward. Michael looked up, Gabriel put his arms around him hesitantly as if he was afraid of him. The scent of his brother hadn’t changed even with a vessel. He smelled of the wind, and of light, and of water. He smelled of like he always had. This calmed him immensely. Michael hugged him back.

 

Gabriel was only slightly surprised by that because hugging was a human concept. Tears were rolling down his cheeks without his acknowledgement. Why was he being so darn emotional? Angels weren’t supposed to be like this, but even with that thought he didn’t move, Michael hadn’t said anything so what was the harm. Michael was rubbing is back near where the base of where his wings would be. He stiffened when that happened.

 

Pain shot through his back and up the arches of his wings. Michael stopped and pulled back, “Gabriel is everything alright? Are you hurt?” 

 

Gabriel didn’t know how to answer that question without lying. “Umm, maybe?” Well that was the best answer in the history of the universe. He mentally face palmed, what was he going to do now? “May I see please?” This time it wasn’t an order it was a genuine question. His mind blanked out on any useful information, what he was even supposed to say.

 

Gabriel had moved off him to sit beside him on the edge of the couch. “I uh- no. Not yet please.” Michael turned to look at his younger brother. “Why? I do not like seeing you in pain. I know that even this will not be enough to make up for the pain that I helped cause,” he shifted. “I understand if it is because you do not trust me but if it is your wings brother, they need to be looked at. Would it help if I woke Lucifer?”

 

\------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------------

 

Michael looked up, he was very aware of what Lucifer had suspicions of. The reaction he got from even rubbing the base of his wings just proved it. He hadn’t been trying to test it but that had happened and he knew he was approaching a very sensitive subject. His natural insints to protect his brother had kicked in and he was staring at Gabriel with the same intensity he had earlier.

 

He sat awaiting an answer from Gabriel. He looked over and saw him glancing at his feet chewing his lip worriedly. He probably doesn’t even know he’s doing it Michael thinks, Gabriel had picked up a lot of human mannerisms. But he didn’t push him because that wouldn’t help anything.

 

He waits and finally Gabriel looks up. There was slight fear in his eyes and Michael frowned. “Gabriel?” “I will show you.” His voice was shaky so he takes a deep breath “But you have to promise not to be mad.” He had expected more of a fight. What had happened to his little brother? This was worrying.

“Of course, I won’t be mad. Why would I be mad?” he knows why but he plays along, it looked like Gabriel was actually going to show him “You can’t tell Luci either. I will tell him when I am ready.”

 

Michael nods his brow furrowing in confusion at that last statement. “Of course, it is your right to tell him. Not mine, especially if it is a personal matter.” Genuine confusion was leaking into his voice. Why wouldn’t he want Lucifer to see? This was confusing, shouldn’t he trust Lucifer more? He was the first one to apologize, not Michael, and honestly Gabriel and Lucifer were always closer.

 

“I suggest that we move to another room then if you are going to bring out your wings. We don’t want to risk Lucifer waking and seeing them.” Gabriel looked relieved at that. “Well then, I guess we could go the bedroom I woke up in.” He was fidgeting, rubbing the edge of his shirt with his fingers, another human mannerism that he must have picked up. 

 

One thing was worrying him, Gabriel usually joked. While he was glad that he was being serious it worried him that not a single joke was cracked. He stood up and followed him into the bedroom quietly closing the door behind him. When he turned around Gabriel was seated on the edge of the bed looking even more nervous, if that was possible. “Could you look away for a moment please?” Gabriel asked.

 

“Of course, just tell me when you are ready, don’t rush.” Michael turned away; he could hear Gabriel shuffling around on the bed for a moment. There was what felt like another shift in time and then shadows covered the room. 

 

Michael still didn’t turn though waiting until Gabriel said something in case he wasn’t ready. The shadows shifted, “You can turn around now.” His voice was shaky with pain, fear and shame. Michael turned slowly; he kept his face blank though when he saw the extent of the damage.

 

“Gabriel.” He whispered his mask crumbling as the sorrow threatened to destroy him. Gabriel must have seen something different because he looked down quickly. It was silent except for the shift of feathers and the occasional whimper of pain. Michael took a hesitant step forward towards him.

\------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---------------------------

‘Oh, Father’, he was panicking now; he had done a lot of that lately. He whimpered as his wings shifted, it felt uncomfortable in this dimension as his vessel now had to support their weight. He felt ashamed at the state he had put them in. Michael had to know now what he had done. This was a mistake, what was he doing here? Showing Michael his wings? He shouldn’t have shown him but he had had no choice. He could have run though. ‘No’ he wouldn’t be taking the coward’s way out again.no matter what happened.

 

He felt hot tears make tracks down his cheeks, what was Michael going to do? Gabriel had honestly no idea, too much had changed. The Michael he had last known was a general, heartless and not caring, but now he had apologized. Michael never apologized, even when they were young, if he had done something wrong he fixed it and then presided to ignore it. Was that what he was doing? Was he going to fix Gabriel and then just leave? His thoughts trailed off at that point because he was so absorbed in them that he hadn’t even noticed Michael come up and sit cross legged on the bed in front of him.

 

Was Michael going to yell, was he going to pity him? Gabriel knew that some of these thoughts were ridiculous but that didn’t stop them from running through his head. Honestly he would prefer it if Michael yelled at him because that was something he could expect and deal with. He wouldn’t know what to do if he started pitying him. He shook his head at that thought, ‘Pity’. Ugh. 

 

Another thought crossed his head; know that he knows what was he going to do? Michael or Lucifer probably wouldn’t understand why he did this. How was he going to explain? ‘Oh, you know I horrendously disappointed everyone and abandoned all my younger siblings. I tried to kill my brother and get the apocalypse started before that.’ Yeah, cause that would end well. Michael probably already knew all this but if he said it and admitted he didn’t know how he would react.

 

Now that he realized it Michael and Lucifer would probably be locking him up to make sure that he didn’t do any more damage even though he deserved it, or at least he thought that he did. Michael would tell Lucifer. He already knew that, when it came to his safety, if he is like he was before at least, he would do anything. Even betray his trust. They would make him stop, that thought made him the tears flow even more freely. He didn't want to particularly stop though. He was just showing Michael because he had no choice.

 

Would they tell anyone else? Raphael? Yes, probably. Oh no. They are going to tell Raphael. He hasn’t seen Raphael since right before he fell. How would he react? He was far closer with Raphael than any of his other siblings; but still he was changed when Gabriel left as well. He was cold and emotionless. If they brought Raphael down he would run. He wouldn’t be able to handle that quite yet.

 

His thoughts got cut off as Michael leaned forward and wiped his tears away.

**Author's Note:**

> oooh cliff hanger, DONT WORRY i will update (hopefully when i have time) SO please i would love reveiws, opinions good and bad, kudos are appreciated.


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